Verletzlich

“I still have a long way to go, but I’m already so far from where I used to be, and I’m proud of that.”

Es gibt viele Worte, die mich beschreiben könnten.
Sensibel.
Verletzlich.
Gefühlvoll.
Träumerisch.
Fantasievoll.
Introvertiert.
Gedankenverloren.

Früher war ich der festen Überzeugung, dass diese Charaktereigenschaften absolut verwerflich sind und nichts gutes hervorbringen, denn oft sind mir diese Eigenschaften zum Verhängnis geworden.

Manchmal sind Sensibilität, Emotionalität und Nachdenklichkeit eine ziemlich schlechte Kombination. Ich gerate schnell ins Grübeln, weil ich zu sehr in meiner eigenen Gedankenwelt lebe und ich erlebe Emotionen intensiv und werde dadurch häufig vollkommen aus der Bahn geworfen.

Da ist es kein Wunder, dass ich mich von nahestehenden Personen verletzt fühle, was schon bei Kleinigkeiten der Fall sein kann, bei denen andere nur mit der Schulter gezuckt hätten.

Wenn ich die Menschen um mich herum beobachte, fallen mir besonders die extrovertierten, selbstsicheren und rationalen Menschen auf, die immer mit einem Lächeln durchs Leben zu gehen scheinen und sich nicht so leicht von anderen Menschen beeinflussen und herunterziehen lassen.
Früher hätte ich mir wohl gerne eine Hand abgeschnitten im Austausch für solche Eigenschaften.

Wie gerne würde ich manchmal meine emotionale Seite ausschalten, wenn ich von einem Menschen enttäuscht wurde und ich eine Ewigkeit dran zu knabbern hatte oder weil ich mir die Worte einer unwichtigen Person zu sehr zu Herzen nahm.

Aber mittlerweile bin ich an einem Punkt angelangt, an dem ich die einst so unliebsamen und verhassten Wesenzüge von ihrer guten Seite sehe.

Sensible, emotionale, introvertiere Menschen sind in der Regel empathisch, so dass sie die Gefühle anderer Personen gut einschätzen können, sie nehmen Fehler und Veränderungen an sich selbst und um sie herum stärker wahr, sie vermeiden Gewalt und Streit so gut es geht und streben stattdessen nach Harmonie und Kreativität spielt eine wichtige Rolle in ihrem Leben.

Ich will mir nicht vorstellen, wie es wäre, wenn alle Menschen überhaupt nicht emotional oder sensibel wären. Dann würde die Welt wohl noch mehr in Gewalt untergehen.

Wenn ich mich nochmal verletzt fühle, werde ich versuchen die Vorteile daran zu sehen. Ich kann dankbar dafür sein, dass ich nicht wie ein emotionaler Eisklotz durchs Leben wandel und ich durch meine Feinfühligkeit und Emotionalität die Welt auf eine intensive Art erlebe.

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Ungewisse Reise

Das Leben ist eine Reise.
Dies spüre ich jedes Mal, wenn ich zurückblicke  und merke, wie sehr ich mich in den letzten Jahren verändert habe, was ich erreicht habe und woran ich gescheiert bin.
Besonders meine persönliche Reise zu meiner Traumberufung hat sich als sehr beschwerlicher und langer Weg herausgestellt.

Ich weiß noch, als ich 16 war und die Meisten aus meiner Klasse bereits eine Idee hatten, was sie später beruflich machen wollten oder sie wussten bereits die grobe Richtung. Natürlich nicht alle, denn wie soll man so eine wichtige Entscheidung mit 16 treffen, wenn man sein Leben lang nur in der Schule hockte und nicht viel Lebenserfahrung sammeln konnte?

Aber so wird es nun mal von der Gesellschaft vorgegeben, auch wenn es überhaupt nicht zu einem selbst und dem eigenen Lebensweg passt.

Ich hatte lange Zeit auch diesen Druck im Nacken sitzen und dachte, dass ich so schnell wie möglich wissen müsste, welchen Beruf ich ausüben möchte, aber das hat überhaupt nicht geklappt. Stattdessen fühlte ich mich vollkommen verloren und wusste nicht, wohin ich gehörte oder was ich machen sollte.

Ich sah zu, wie meine Freunde und Bekannte mit 16 ihre Ausbildung anfingen, sie anschließend bestanden oder eine andere beganen und schließlich im Job einstiegen. Andere starteten mit ihrem Abitur, beendeten es mehr oder weniger erfolgreich und schrieben sich für einen Studienplatz ein. Und nun sind die meisten berufstätig oder sind mit ihrem Bachelor fertig.

In dieser Zeit habe ich mein Abitur abgebrochen, ich habe ein halbjähriges FSJ in einem Hospiz gemacht, so wie ein Praktikum in einer Physio- und Ergotherapie, ich war 14 lange Monate in Australien und war anschließend wochenlang in Asien, dann fing ich sehr spontan mit dem Fachabitur an und musste im ersten Schuljahr drei grauenvolle Praktika in sozialen Einrichtungen ableisten, da ich auf die Idee kam, es würde zu mir passen Sozialarbeiter zu werden.

Lange Zeit hatte ich nur die Idee… okay ich werde Abitur machen und dann sehe ich weiter. Ich werde nach Australien gehen und dann sehe ich weiter. Ich werde nach Hause fliegen und dann sehe ich weiter. Ich hatte null Ahnung wo genau meine Interessen lagen und es hat lange gedauert dies herauszufinden.

Aber während ich verschiedene Berufe und Interessen ausprobierte, vervollstäntigte sich allmählich das Puzzle, das ich seit Jahren versuchte zu Ende zu bringen. Langsam gewann ich einen Überblick und sah, welche beruflichen Tätigkeiten ich absolut nicht ausstehen konnte (siehe meine grausige Erfahrung in den sozialen Einrichtungen) und welche mein Herz höher schlagen ließen.

Indem ich viele verschiedene Berufe ausprobierte (Hosipz, Toiletten putzen, auf traumatisierte Kinder aufpassen und unzählige mehr…), konnte ich unglaublich viel über mich selbst herausfinden, was ohne diese Erfahrungen schwer geworden wäre. Ich habe absolut keine Ahnung, wie einige mit 16 ihre Ausbildung anfangen und schließlich im Beruf einsteigen, ohne irgendwas anderes ausprobiert zu haben und sich mit dieser Berufswahl zufrieden geben. Das ist ja quasi so, als würde man einen 6er im Lotto gewinnen – man braucht eine Portion Glück, um auf einen Schlag genau DAS zu finden, was man wirklich machen möchte.

Manche machen sich krankhaft Sorgen darum, dass sie eventuell einen ‘Lücke’ im Lebenslauf bekommen, falls sie nicht den schnurgeraden Weg gehen, den die Gesellschaft für sie ausgelegt haben: Schule beenden – Ausbildung/Studium anfangen – einen Job beginnen.
Es hört sich nicht nur unglaublich langweilig an, sondern ist es auch. Ein Auslandsjahr ist ja total in Ordnung, aber mehr als das? Besser nicht, das passt ja nicht so gut in den Lebenslauf.

Ich versuche nun meinen eigenen Weg zu gehen, was bedeutet, dass ich mir mit der Berufswahl Zeit lasse und auf Entdeckung gehe. Nächstes Jahr werde ich endlich mit 22 Jahren mein Fachabitur in den Händen halten… und dann werde ich erneut ins Ausland gehen, nämlich nach Neuseeland.

Manche können dies wohl nicht ganz nachvollziehen, aber für mich ist diese langsame Reise bis zu meiner Traumberufung genau das Richtige, denn ich kann mich nicht mit etwas zufrieden geben für das ich keine Leidenschaft besitze.

Ich möchte das Gefühl haben, dass ich das beste Leben kreieren kann, das mir möglich ist und mich dabei fühlen, als würde ich tatsächlich aus vollstem Herzen leben und nicht nur auf das Leben warten. Ich weiß, wie es sich anfühlt, wenn man denkt, man würde auf das wahre Leben warten und dies fühlt sich für mich nicht richtig an.

 Aus diesem Grund werde ich mir mit meiner Entdeckung Zeit lassen und bis dahin verschiedene Wege gehen und versuchen, so viele meiner Interessen wie möglich zu erkunden und auszuprobieren. Man lebt ja schließlich nur einmal. Aber es kommt natürlich darauf an, was man für einen Glauben hat.

Andererseits bin ich auch ängstlich über mein Vorhaben, denn ich plane mir eine ‘Auszeit’ von zwei Jahren zu nehmen, damit ich 1 Jahr in Neuseeland reisen und anschließend ein halbjähriges Praktikum beim Fotografen machen, so wie meine Kunstmappe für mein momentanes Wahl-Studienfach ‘Kommunikationsdesign’ gestalten kann.

Man könnte es als ‘Auszeit’ oder einfach nur im Moment leben bezeichnen. Zu meinen Plänen meinte eine nahestehende Person zu mir, dass ich ja ‘zu alt’ werde, wenn ich endlich irgendwann einen ‘richtigen Job’ haben werde und eine Bekannte, dass ich doch endlich mal das Gefühl bekommen sollte ‘mitten im Leben zu stehen’.

Das sind zwei sehr subjektive Annahmen über das Leben, die jeder für sich selbst definieren muss. Für manche mag es richtig sein nach einem strikten Plan zu leben, aber ich gehöre definitiv nicht dazu, denn für mich steht meine persönliche Entwicklung und Entfaltung an einer hohen Stelle.

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I Had 6 HORRIBLE Jobs In 1 Year – What It Taught Me

I’ve done all kind of work in my life so far – from bringing around two newspapers a week, cleaning toilets in Australian hostels, selling slushy ice-cream on a showground to building boxes on a banana farm. But since last June, in about one year, I’ve done the 6 most horrible jobs I’ve ever had and I learned A TON about it.

Professional slushy ice-cream-seller in fancy wardrobe and saving a frog while building banana boxes.

So, if you’re curious (you definitely should be) about these jobs, then keep on reading and also find out why it was by far the worst year of my life.
Now, after I concurred these tasks, I’m proud that I never quit even though I could have just take the easy way out. Then I would have missed out on these learning opportunities for sure!

The jobs in itself were alright. It was more the surroundings, co-workers and bosses who made it an absolute bad experience. This was also a huge learning factor because it made me realize it’s incredible important to have nice co-workers and good working conditions to be able to enjoy the job you do. If you can work with awesome people who you genuinly like, it gets less important to find your ‘dream task’.

I went back to school which will last for two years. After this time I’ll be qualified to attend universities. In the first school-year I had to do an internship for one year which I splitted it into three different internships and at the same time I had to take classes for two days a week. And as a poor student I had to take side jobs to be able to get money to afford traveling and other stuff.

Looking for the next job like…

I start with my first job which seemed totally normal at the beginning – I was working as a waitress in a café-bar. But not long into it, I discovered that the boss was an absolute asshole. For some reasons, in the 6 different waitress jobs I had over the years, I experienced that in the gastronomy, the bosses and co-workers are pretty nasty in general which is worth an entire blog entry on its own.
But this boss was on top of the list of the asshole-league. He screamed a lot. For no good reason at all. There’s never a good reason to scream anyway. One time, a costumer came up and whispered to me: ‘Your boss is an asshole.’
This taught me that it’s extremely important to control your temper and don’t just let your anger out because you ALWAYS make a bad impression on other people and you’re more likely to not get the response you actually want. It’s so important to stay nice because if people like you, they are more likely to actually do want you want and do a better job at it. That’s a pretty obvious one but I guess not for everyone. My boss couldn’t learn it in about 50 years, so don’t do the same mistake.

I recommend kissing dogs when you have this urge to scream at people again.

The second job was my 6-month-long internship in a women’s shelter. Ooooh… it was the most stressful job I probably ever had and it was so bad for so many reasons but on the other hand it taught me a lot. About myself, about other people and where my future career should NOT go.
I had 5 co-workers who kind of were a little bit weird in their own way but they were still one of the nicest co-workers I had so far.
The cases of illnesses amongst the employees were extremely high, they were complaining a lot and two even didn’t want to do the job and told me they would rather do something else. And of course, their mindset effected their work and they didn’t work as efficient as my other co-workers.
All this stress from work got to me, too. I had to take care of 5-8 traumatized children aged between 1-10. Of course, I don’t have any background knowledge of that but I still had to do the job because as an intern, you don’t really have a choice. I was absolutely overwhelmed and after every working day, when I got home, I sat over one hour in the kitchen and I couldn’t bring myself to get up because I was so exhausted. Most of the times I starred blindly into the wall.
That was the result of getting too much stress because I was in a situation I didn’t belong in. I realized that my strength lies somewhere else and I would do a much better job if I realize my true strengths.
It’s so important to listen to the signals of your body and realize what makes you stress out. It made me realize that you should choose your career path wisely and based on what you REALLY want. These two co-workers who were always ill and complaining about their job didn’t do that for sure. They were near their retirement and they spend their whole life-career in the social working field. One told me that it was always her dream to work as an engineer and the other one said when she was in her 20s she became depressed for many years because of the stress from work and if she could go back, she would change her career into something else. I told her that she still had time to do that but she just laughed and said it’s too late and she’s too old to do that.
But for me it’s just the beginning and I’m eager to find out what I’m truly passionate about.
Everyone should do that – Try to discover yourself a bit every day. There are so many ways to do that: Write out your thoughts, write down what you love and what you absolutely hate, read books about self-discovery… and you will find out what your dream job would look like. And not when you’re about to retire.

Hands always tell a story – what will your hands say about you when you’re about to retire after a life full of work? Will they be stiff and wrinkly from hard work and adventure?

And then during the internship I quit the first waitress job because I was too fed up with it… You would think that I chose a job which would not be a waitress job. But I got the glorious idea … hey why not work in a shisha (also called hookah) bar?! Even though I never smoked in my life. If you want to kill your lungs, then go ahead and start working in such a bar. It will do the job for you.
And during this time, I met the most arrogant, superficial and material-obsessed people in my life. I didn’t fit in AT ALL because I’m pretty much the opposite. I like to talk about deep topics, I try to not care too much about material things because I know that the meaning of life lies somewhere else and I could list another 100 things.
But my point is that I tried to fit in, even though I could have never managed that. Maybe if I went to an actress school and got brainwashed into thinking that buying designer clothing, having an awesome car and pretending to be cool would determine my self-worth. And I can’t pretend I’m cool even if my life would depend on it. I just can’t hide my awkward goofiness. What I’m saying with that is that you should not hide your interests, your personality and your quirky side to be able to make some friends even though you don’t really like the people in the first place.

I got caught… pretending to be cool again with my fancy car.

Now it gets funny because I kept repeating the same mistake.  I didn’t learn my lesson, obviously. After I quit the job at the shisha bar… guess what… I applied for another waitress job at weddings and other events. Soooo, what did I learn this time around?
It started when I worked with a co-worker. Let’s call her Dora. She was a bit… how can I say it politely? Not my type of juice. Dora had this Mona-Lisa smile and the habit to tell me what I was supposed to do even though she was just another waitress. I had important conversations with her. Like this one time she told me that her parents own three houses but in the house, she lives in, the swimming-pool is shaded by the trees in the afternoon when she wants to take a bath and that she’s not amused about that. Lol. That’s all I have to say about that.
When she kept acting like a boss, I got too furious at one point and literally told her: ‘Stop telling me what I should do. You’re NOT the boss.’ And oh boy, she freaked out. She said to me that she will go to our boss and tell her what I said which is too ridiculous beyond words. (She didn’t tell the boss though)
I swore to myself on this evening that I’ll never find myself in this kind of situation again. I’m not gonna waste my time with this kind of people in the first place. I usually stay nice and keep on the conversations but if someone tells me again their parents own three houses… I’ll drop everything and run as fast as possible. I’m not going to waste my precious time like that again.

My face when someone tells me about their fancy holidays… I’m like… well, I lived in an Australian hostel with cockroaches for 5 months and did a roadtrip for two weeks where I slept in a tent without mattress. #dontgetjealous

And while I was a waitress for weddings, I also worked as a dishwasher which was extremely exhausting – I worked with 4 other dishwashers and we had to wash a huuuuge pile of dirty dishes, pans, cutlery, bowls and so on. Each time I felt like Reinhold Messner who was about to climb the Mount Everest, except that it was a mountain of dirty dishes. I was always so relieved when I conquered 7 hours of washing, stacking and polishing these dishes. At the end, I felt like I was standing up on this mountain and looking down and realizing how much I achieved.
And I will probably never forget this one co-worker I came across. We did get along but it was a bit difficult to work with her because she absolutely hated this job. And because of that she turned into a negative person who was always complaining about other co-workers and her job in general. I asked her why she worked there for over 5 years when she obviously couldn’t stand it. She told me that it had been her dream to open her own speech therapy facility but she thought she couldn’t handle the stress that comes with being a boss and so, she NEVER even tried.  Now, she was working as a speech therapist but it was the facility of someone else and she wasn’t happy with her salary. So, to get some extra money to buy an extra pair of pants without having guilt for spending too much money.
I’m not sure if it’s sadder that she didn’t follow her dream or that she just had this awful job to buy an extra pair of pants.

Will you climb the mountain of your dreams or are you doing this to find a pair of pants on top of the mountain?

The last internship I had was with mental-ill people. This time, I was working in two different facilities for mental-ill people which was led by one big constitution. To put it in a nutshell – the co-workers from the first facility were mean douchebags who treated me like I was below them and the other one’s from the second office were extremely nice and respectful to me. There couldn’t be a bigger difference than that.
Let’s imagine the names of the guys from the first office were Laurel and Hardy. Laurel told me that she likes to watch reality TV which made her feel better about life because there were people who had a worse life than her. Besides that, she had an emotionless face like a statue and when she talked to me, she usually didn’t look at me and stared into the air or at her computer. And Hardy liked to gossip a lot about, well, basically everyone who hadn’t the same opinion as her. Her favourite task was looking over my shoulder and register every little mistake I did. She pointed out everything and I had to do it exactly the way she wanted.  It went like that for four months and I couldn’t handle it anymore. When Hardy told me some ridiculous shit again, I starred at her and I literally rolled my eyes which I had never done at any job in my life so far. She totally freaked out and because of that I got the worst internship reference I EVER had even though I didn’t deserve that for sure. The work of four month was for nothing.
On the other hand, when I was working with the absolutely nice co-workers, I started to feel immensely grateful for them. I was happy to work with them because of how respectful and nice they were. They made me feel like the work I did mattered. We had awesome conversations about many topics and I could ask them everything. At the end of the internship, they gave me presents and the best reference I ever received.
And what did I do?! I concentrated too much on this bad experience I had and worried that the bad reference would get me in the way of doing something. I started to act like a clairvoyant and imagined horrible scenarios. And guess what… nothing happened and it will not matter in my career because I’ll never work in the social field anyway. Worrying does nothing for you, except it will make you feel bad. Instead you should focus on the good stuff that happen to you which is way more productive.


Now, I prefer animals for obvious reasons.

Even though it was a really shitty year for obvious reasons, I’m still grateful for it in many ways. It became the worst year of my life though because I neglected my needs – spending time with friends, relaxing and doing stuff I truly enjoy. I didn’t take care of myself and I experienced the downside of it: This constant stress built up over time and I could feel the effects: I was getting insecure, my skin got worse, I had trouble falling asleep, I didn’t feel a purpose in life anymore and even worse… I became like these negative people who were hateful and always judging other people.
On top of that, I just felt like a robot who woke up, went to work, ate and slept again. That’s not life, that’s just slowly going to your grave.
But I turned it all around because I didn’t want to make the same mistakes like the people I met during this time.

What makes you truly happy? I love seeing the sun go down at the beach while being with good friends. These are the moments in life that matter.

I will NEVER choose a career path I’m not satisfied with. I will take time to find out what makes me the happiest version I could become. I will choose more wisely which people I want to be surrounded by and I want to live the hell out of my life because life is too short.
EVERYONE should do that and we should start now.

‘If you believe it will work out, you will see opportunities. If you believe it won’t you will see obstacles.’ – anonymous

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Gamechanger #1 : Fighting For Human Rights

Have you ever thought about forced labour?  About 168 million children work in different countries around this globe and almost 21 million people are forced into labour which means they’re slaves to their workplace. Therefore, it’s also called modern slavery. They have to work under bad working conditions, they’re physically violated and most of the times, they can’t escape this situation.
And for sure, this is by far not exactable! Not many people are aware about that and even less people are actively doing something about this issue.
But when I was in Toulouse, I came across a person who does an amazing job: His name is Aziz and he works for a non-profit organisation called ‘RHSF – Ressources Humaines Sans Frontières’ which wants to end forced labour around the world.
And so, he actively fights for human rights every day and this way, his job makes a big difference for many people.

[In their office space, they have a wall full of art which displays forced labour. Here you’re able to find more information on the pictures and the meaning behind them.]

When he told me about his job, I was interested at once because I came across this topic several times. Especially, when I started to inform myself about how the majority of our clothes are made: Big companies go to undeveloped countries in order to make the cheapest clothes possible. They hire people who have to work under bad working conditions, they get a ridiculous amount of money for that, they get sick from all the chemicals which are used for the clothes and it’s also destroying the environment because we use too much of our resources like water and fields which could have been used to feed people.

[A postcard with a serious massage to raise awareness – we should ask us: What is behind our cheap clothes  which we can find at every store in every city?]

Aziz became interested in this topic when he stumbled across an article online – it was about Qatar, a country in the middle east and it explained how people from Sri Lanka, India, Nepal and Bangladesh were building a stadium for the soccer world cup under bad working conditions. Since he is a big soccer fan, he didn’t want that his sport is standing for something so cruel.
So, first he started to read more about human rights and he also started to volunteer in this kind of area. Later, when he had the job opportunity, he started to work for this organisation.

[Their office in Toulouse. To see their website click here.]

The organisation ‘RHSF’ has two main topics – forced labour and child labour. They want to have better working conditions for everyone in this world.
They already accomplished amazing things. For example, they went to a big factory in China where the workers had over 80 hours of work every week and the workers even slowed down the process of work, so they would be able to work more and get a higher salary. RHSF made a big accomplishment: they changed the way the company paid the people, so the hours of work were reduced from 80 to 60 but the salary, productivity and quality of the products were even increasing!

They also went to Panama and did a study on child labour in coffee- and banana-fields. The study had the purpose to make clear why children and teenagers work on these fields and what can be changed to end the child labour. Based on the study, they could write a guidance for the local minister of labour, so he can make a law out of it to make this change.

[You never know what you’re going to get… more info here]

I was working on a banana farm myself in Australia for about 5 months and it was the most horrible job I ever had. I had to stand in a humid, hot shelter and had to pick out the bad bananas from the good one’s – I had to do the same task for 8 hours a day, breath in all the pesticides they put on the bananas and so, it was boring and difficult. But at least I got a good salary. I could not imagine working like that in bad working conditions and getting a horribly low salary. And it must be even more horrible for kids!

At a normal day at work, Aziz does projects and his main project is to eliminate forced child labour. And to reach that goal, he’s raising awareness on this topic through organizing events, conferences and film festivals. In this way, people become aware of their buying habits because behind every product is a long process until it’s made and it can be a good process or in worst case, it’s the opposite. Therefore, many people are not aware of the damage their buying habits cause.

Of course, he tries to implement this on his own life. He stopped buying clothes from big clothing companies and instead, he buys his clothes at fair-trade and organic shops. And if his clothes are damaged, he tries to repair it and not just throw it away at once. He also looks out for food which is locally made and if he buys coffee, it’s always fair-trade.

‘Everyone can make a little difference like that in their life’s.’

[The Japanese garden in Toulouse where the interview took place.]

Aziz has a big goal for the future: He wants to reduce the amount of people who are forced into labour to zero. There should be definitely more people like that with this amazing energy and optimistic vision. So much could be accomplished if people become more aware and want to make a positive change in this world:

It all starts with yourself and the right time is now.

 

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The Fear Of Following Your Passion

“There are 7 billion people on this planet who I have not met,
and 195 countries I have not visited.
Yet I am stuck in this insignificant town,
Being pressured into making decisions about my future,
When I barely even know who I am.” – Anonymous

[Indonesia – Bali – Uluwatu Temple – 2016]

Following your passion is scary for so many reasons. And it was quite a long journey before I realized what my passions are (and I’m still discovering them) and trying to change my unhappy state of life.

I was and I’m still doing a job which I don’t enjoy AT ALL, just because I wanted to have that feeling of ‘having safety’ in my career choice. So, I wouldn’t end up living under a bridge in ten years. Yeah, I know, it’s a bit dramatic.


[Somewhere on an island in Thailand – Found in an abandoned hostel – 2016]

But that is tremendous stupid for so many reasons! Don’t get me wrong – of course we always need a stable income to buy food and pay rent and all that jazz – but we don’t have to forget all about our passions like I did.
There are so many ways to make your dreams come true and still make money out of it. You just need to be creative and find solutions because the opportunities and knowledge are endless nowadays… everything you need to know about ‘how to make your dreams come true’ is easy to find online or it’s  already written in a book.


[Stockholm – Winter 2017]

What is the reason why I’m trying to finally change my life? It’s because I got too unhappy with the career choice I’ve forced myself to go on.
At the beginning it was easy to convince myself that I like the job. I tried so damn hard to see just the good parts of it and that I could help so many people with it.


[Antwerpen – March 2017]

But not long after, I got more and more stressed and I felt miserable when I started thinking that I still needed more than four years before I finally would get this degree. I kept telling myself I would be ‘financially free’ if I would go this way and THEN I could follow my passion.
It sounds so strange to me while writing this down but back then, it totally made sense in my brain because I put this illusion on it and became blind… and that’s why we need to realize how big the impact of ‘the rules of society’ is on us.


[Spring 2017]

Of course, on the other side, ‘society’ is not totally wrong about ‘going the safe way’ either but if we put the rules which would suit most people in our society also on us and it makes us depressed and hopeless – then it’s the wrong way to go.
I’m sure not a fan of ‘just doing the f* you want’ because I will still finish my degree (but then definitely not going further with it) next year and that way I will have more options of doing all kinds of jobs but in the mean time I will make sure that I do something I love. I will get creative and find solutions to get a stable income but not by doing a job I clearly hate for the next ten years or so.


[Antwerpen]

So, here I am and trying this scary thing of putting my voice online after I kept my opinions to myself for too many years.
I have this little vision in my head of making this world a better place and I’m sure I can achieve many things if I just keep believing in myself.
And I hope you will too.

[Thailand – National Park]

‘Do not let your fire go out, spark by irreplaceable spark in the hopeless swamps of the not-quite, the not-yet, and the not-at-all. Do not let the hero in your soul perish in lonely frustration for the life you deserved and have never been able to reach. The world you desire can be won. It exists.. it is real.. it is possible.. it’s yours.’ – by Ayn Rand

‘Keep your dreams alive. Understand to achieve anything requires faith and belief in yourself, vision, hard work, determination, and dedication. Remember all things are possible for those who believe.’ – by Gail Devers

‘If you end up with a boring, miserable life because you listened to your mom, your dad, your teacher, your priest, or some guy on television telling you how to do your shit, then you deserve it.’ – Anonymous

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